Importance of a positive self image part 2

So after stepping down from my soap box in the first installment of this topic. I felt like I needed to practice what I preached. I needed to evaluate myself as well. So what are my vices?

I have to admit I hide behind hair, make-up and clothes. How-so?

Well I hide behind them all because of the way I view my body and my skin. I've never been as thin as I have wanted to be... or as thin as I was told I should be. Also I've always had issues with eczema, causing blotches on my skin all the time. There was only one period of my life where my skin was eczema free and it was wonderful. However, when it came back I choose to hide it with long sleeves year round, long hair and tons of lotions & foundation. Like so many people chose to mask it and allow these things to become my beauty and it didn't stop there.

There are very few times I could look at my body and say I was comfortable with the way it looked. I always saw it as needing to be thinner. Even when I wore a size 3. There was always someone to tell me that my body could be better. In my early 20's living in Tokyo and being in the military didn't help either.

The military told me I was out of weight standards which was ridiculous for a person of my stature. I was 5'1" and 131 lbs with boobs that fit in a Triple D bra! If I was a B-cup I would have been considered underweight. Then to add fuel to the fire, My self-image was directly tied to how desirable I felt I was to men. I'm still not sure where I got that from and I know that it's going to take some soul searching to figure it out.

Living in Tokyo Japan one of the most populated places in the world I was surrounded by Japanese. The 7 years I was there I was only approached by one Japanese man who had the courage to ask me out on a date. How could this be?!?!? Growing up in the hoods of Detroit everyman thought I was hot. As a matter of fact I was approached so much if I went to the mall I looked down and walked fast so men wouldn't approach me. So, the lack of interest that Japanese men had for me did a number on my self confidence. I mean I know that Japanese can be a bit shy sometimes but nothing I did seemed to pull guys out of their shells.

For those 7 years I felt so unattractive, fat and even less than. When I got married none of that mattered anymore, but shortly after my husband began to ignore me... back into the spiral I twirled. Next thing you know, I had gained nearly 70lbs, hiding behind baggy clothes long hair and a closed bedroom door. Not to mention with the 70lbs my breast grew to a whopping 36J bra size. There was no way to feel normal other than disconnect myself from what I looked like and hide behind what I could by to make it disappear. And we all know there is nothing that can make 70lbs and 36J boobs vanish overnight short of surgery.

So here I am after all of that, just now learning it's not what other people think it's what I think about myself. It's what I feel comfortable with and nothing I can buy or obtain will provide that comfort. No amount of designer clothes, long hair, male admirers from Tokyo... Detroit or anywhere else will fill the void. I have to provide it to myself by addressing the true issues.

Instead of hiding my eczema I need to address it more consistently with dermalogical care and what doesn't go away accept it.

Instead of hiding my body with clothes and long hair I need to invest in my body with healthy eating & more activity.

The reason why I'm telling all this it to point out... that no one is immune. I acknowledge that it's easy to allow external factors to change how you feel on the inside about yourself. Rome wasn't built in a day and after the rain comes the rainbow. All of the things you consistently and slowly let into your life to affect your self image took time to influence you. Inversely it will take time to undo that. Take the opportunity to change this each day and after a few weeks and months evaluate how far you've come along. You'd be surprised by the progress and self fulfillment you can achieve if you can be just as consistent with investing in yourself as the things that tore you down. I know that these things are sometimes easier said than done, but just as no one is immune to failure no one is incapable of success. The ultimate Luscious Beauty Life is one that you take control of and shape for yourself.














-GokiChan
Mega Pinky Love Style

Importance of a positive self-image

Self confidence, self esteem, positive body image... the list goes on and on and on. Regardless of the individual topic at hand we can all agree on the overall importance of a positive self image. So with the obvious stated, my question is...

If we already know this... Why do we still allow everything on the outside to affect how we feel about ourselves on the inside. Not many people are unaffected by this barrage of images that tell us what we should be and what is beautiful or attractive. Think you're one of the unaffected? Think you can honestly say you are comfortable with you and how the world perceives you?

Take the test and then answer the question.

With every thing stripped away; the make-up, the clothes, the contacts, manicures, push up bras, waist cinchers, spanxx, contacts, hair enhancements (we're talking wash and go baby)... Tell me, in just shorts and a tank with none of the above how comfortable are you with yourself. Could you answer the door that way? Could you go out in public? What would you feel uncomfortable about if you did?

My whole point of this flurry of questions is this...

It's fine to enhance ourselves with all of these extras to help boost our self image. However, it is another thing to rely on them to make us feel acceptable to ourselves and the world around us. Instead of grabbing for this crutch as an easy fix, address the reason why you feel you need it in the first place.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying you shouldn't ever put on make-up or rock contacts or anything like that. What I am saying is be comfortable with yourself never allow these things to become what makes you beautiful to you.

So what does this mean?

Invest in yourself and not things to hide yourself!

Feel like your nose is too big? Before contouring it with make-up or considering a nose job... try watching a slideshow daily of people you think are beautiful with big noses. See how you look at yourself after 30-days.

Feel like your stomach or thighs are too big? Before stuffing yourself into body slimmers and considering lipo invest in yourself! Go for a hour walk everyday, drink more water and eat more veggies for 30-days then see how you feel.

Feel like you can't accept your natural hair? Before weaving it up, relaxing it out or braiding it back try wash and wear for 1 week. Wet set it in rollers or bantu knots or even two strand twist. The point of this is to find something beautiful about your hair by itself before adding all of the extras.

I promise you, when you address what you feel is a short-coming before masking it you'll see yourself in an entirely new light... a more confident and positive one.

-GokiChan
Mega Pinky Love Style